sleep deprived.

so... last night was one of those nights. yea, the ones where you can't sleep, you toss and turn, and once you get to sleep you either can't stay asleep, have nightmares, or if you're like me you wake up constantly and feel like you aren't sleeping at all!

please bear with me. and my poor grammar, sloppy capitalization, and shotty punctuation.

if you find some random... naughty words, or undestinguishable gibberish, just ignore them. for your sake, and mine.

at any rate.

today, i return back to school. i hope. we are awaiting a call saying that the perp has been dealt with, and it is safe for me to come in and fill out some paper work. yipee! ugh. that's the one thing i dread about reporting things, other than the he said she said bull crap. it's the sitting down, writing out every dang detail of some event that has happened, usually causing my anxiety to hit the roof and temporary memory lapse or perhaps even trauma. again.

yea. so. umm i have to do that. then, and ONLY then, may i go to class and resume my life *almost* normally. but you know, there's always that fear you have. that need to constantly watch over you shoulder praying that the bad guy isn't coming to seek his revenge.

i am NOT a violent person. i've never even been in a fight, unless you consider those silly little things that occur between siblings and friends for entertainment. BUT! if i were to need my fight or flight instinct, and fight was the only option, i'd whoop some major skinny boy butt. do i want to hurt the poor boy? no. i seriously think something is wrong with him that he needs help with. but if he gave me no choice but to defend myself, i'd win.

and my mother scoffs at me. but she forgets, that i'm HER daughter. if i have enough fear built up, it can turn to rage if need be.

but i pray that isn't needed. i really do hate conflict!

so as my nauseas, maybe 3 hours of worthy sleep, anxious self attempts to go through this day, can i ask a favor of thee?

{pray}

for him. mostly. maybe he'll realize that making my life miserable isn't the way to happiness. i pity him.
for the teachers and whoever else has helped me through this. thank you.
for his parents, for the wisdom to know how to handle him in this situation.
and lastly, for me. because i'm just a scared little girl who's learning to be strong.